Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
