just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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