I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
