i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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