all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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