FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
