my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
