This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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