The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
