im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
