He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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