Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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