I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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