You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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