I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We're like a lot better than the average bears
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
