If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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