I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
