Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
