You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
MIDGETS
????
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
