my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
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You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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