im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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