I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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