I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
