The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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