are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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