i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
