I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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