Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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