I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
