if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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