That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize