if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you would pick up someone in the library
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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