hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
