I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We're too hungover to prance.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
