it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
