you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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