and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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