She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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