I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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