How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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