Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Less talking, more tequila
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
