I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
