Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
