They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
