why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
