i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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