using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
