Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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