So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
