coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Success! We fucked roommates!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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