1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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