She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
