i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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