i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I could fuck to npr.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
