I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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