Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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