i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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