Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
