It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she pinky promised me she was 18
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
