can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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