So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
