I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
