I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
